Fearless.
She stood at the base of the mountain, looking up at the summit lost in the distance, obscured by clouds of doubt. There were others who had chosen to make their home in the shadow of the peak, they seemed comfortable with the monotonous passage of their lives. At times she wished she could accept a landscape painted in brown and grey, however she had glimpsed the vibrant colors that were possible if she just accepted her calling.
She knew there was more than she could see from the base so she began to climb, harnessing her fear and riding it into the future like an untamed steed of hope.
When exactly did her journey start? Was it a childhood memory frozen in the ice of uncertainty, or the loss of purpose while gaining the guise of adulthood that led her to walk a path less traveled?
The way to the summit was difficult and strewn with setbacks and misleading paths. Many of these obstacles were her own creation, she had taken a wrong turn in an attempt to find an easier way.
There were days when she was alone in her pilgrimage towards the peak. She would walk in solitude accompanied by her thoughts, with fear as her only companion. She yearned for someone to share her journey, even for a short distance. At times a stranger would walk with her for a few steps, then disappear as quickly as a wisp of fog in the early morning light. Some would share the story of their lives as they walked together, others would provide guidance as she navigated her way around the cliffs of doubt.
At one point in her journey, she met a stranger and gave her heart away for an empty promise of comfort and security. They settled into a cramped shelter on the side of the mountain and called it home. Years passed, she realized she had given up her hopes and dreams for the dull grey of conformity. It wasn't that they didn't love each other, it was deeper than that. She had misplaced her joy, she had forgotten how to dance in the sunshine of hope. Her journey called her, she slowly packed her things and said a tearful goodbye. As she traveled, she came to accept that she had to make this journey alone, it was her’s after all.
At night she would sleep with a blanket of courage wrapped tightly around her shoulders. The demons lurked in the shadows, waiting for her slip into a restless slumber. She kept the fire of faith burning, those were the peaceful nights. When faith was dim, the demons crept in to caress her face with maniacal delight, their bony fingers covered in shame and suffering. She would cry out in dismay, tremors of panic wracking her body with doubt and uncertainty. They told her she needed to make herself smaller, return to the base of mediocrity at the bottom of the mountain. They threatened her with embarrassment if she stood up and called out her fears. She believed them, and tried to return to the safety of indifference.
Every time she turned back, the path would twist and lead back up the
She continued to walk towards the peak tearing herself free from branches of confinement, climbing over boulders of disillusionment. She became like a phoenix rising from death throes of rebirth, recreating herself from the ashes each time. She became a keeper of the lost and forsaken, taking their pain and eating it whole. She would pluck from her breast and feed them with unconditional acceptance, convincing herself that she would find solace in their healing. She knew she could take it, she could release their pain by making it her own and setting it free when they moved on.
She had overcome her deepest fear of inadequacy, and had proven that by allowing herself to be as powerful as she felt, she could heal others by lifting them up from a place of grace and love. It was so much easier to be whole, and give from a place of abundance instead of fear and lack.
She stood at the summit her knees trembling from the exertion, tired to the very core of her being. She surveyed all she had overcome, and drew a breath of relief. She realized she had stopped trying to fit into the clothes of conformity. They had always been too restrictive, binding her from opening her arms to opportunity. She tossed away the shoes of restraint and began walking barefoot along her path. She had found the robes of her calling. She proudly wrapped them around her shoulders, and began to sing her song of joy as she stepped into the void.
Her journey is far from over, there are more peaks to climb and summits to see. Her calling is not an easy path, she will stumble and fall down the mountain, scraping her knees along the way. She shares her journey with others, giving of herself each time. Each time she becomes stronger, loves more freely, heals others without depleting herself.
She is becoming - fearless.
